(The UR door flings open to reveal Anita. She is a short slender woman of new ideas and old money. Her slight frame belies a physical and vocal endurance of amazing volume, power and range. She speaks precisely and a bit pompously, sometimes in a fake British accent which takes on Brooklynese undertones in times of stress. She wears a red robe which, too large, gives a wrong impression of frailty. She limps, aided by a cane, across the room toward the outside door, white, elegantly coiffed head held high}.
Janet
Did you have a good night moms?
(She attempts to kiss Anita who stiffens at her touch}.
Anita
(Continues her journey across the room)
And I refuse to discuss with you the depressing possibility of two widow ladies, like us, vegetating together here in the wilds of Connecticut. It’s too….uncivilized.
Janet
I only asked you….
Anita
NO, I did not have a good night. The silence here is deafening, as they say.
(Turns to look at her)
Oh, Janet don’t slouch like that. It only makes you look drowsy, not shorter.
Janet
Moms, we need to talk about…
Anita
Your hair looks like a hen’s nest. Can’t you do something with it? I guess that’s what comes of living in the woods selling antiques.
Janet
MOMS, LISTEN TO ME.
Anita
Oh for heaven’s sake. Will you please stop calling me MOMS so much. It makes me feel as though I should be breast feeding you, even at my age.
(She laughs and stands in the open doorway).
Janet
What are you doing?
Anita
I do this every morning to airwash my lungs. If you paid even the slightest attention to me, you would have noticed.
Janet
Why do you want to go into a nursing home? There’s nothing wrong with you but an ankle that will heal, and frankly, I’m a little put out that you want to go there on this day of all days.
Anita
This Sunday when we’re supposed to honor motherhood?
(Laughs)
Janet
I wasn’t sure you remembered it.
Anita
(Shuts the door and turns to face Janet)
Tell me. Do you run out to plant trees on Arbor Day?
Janet
It’s a good idea for ecology.
Anita
Never mind. Did you make the arrangements for me at that…Lakeside place?
Janet
It’s LakeVIEW moms.
Anita
I don’t give a damn if I sit by it or look at it. Did you DO it?
Janet
Well…I…not yet…I
Anita
I know, it’s a risk. These places are always burning down. Olivia White burned to death in one. Of course, she had a family to mourn her. I don’t care about those things. But, I do have one request before I go. I believe even serial killers have that privilege.
Janet
Oh, are you hungry moms? I have Dr. O’Brien’s diet list for…
Anita
To HELL with Dr. O’Brien. Have you ever noticed how close his eyes are set together? They say you can’t trust people who look like that.
Janet
Let’s have something to eat. Then we’ll have a nice talk.
Anita
I don’t want to EAT and I don’t want to TALK. And I won’t be patronized by you.
Janet
I roasted a chicken last night. You always liked chicken.
Anita
I know. I’ve seen it, and I’ve smelled it. It looked more like a topless fat lady than any chicken I’ve ever known.
Janet
It’s a Purdue chicken. The best.
Anita
It’s all puffed up with chemicals and hormones.
Janet
There’s nothing wrong with the chicken.
Anita
Doesn’t matter. Chicken was your father’s favorite, not mine. You’re all mixed up as usual. I haven’t gone anywhere near anything he liked since….
Janet
Does that include me?
Anita
…the day I discovered his, ah well, I can’t think of a euphemism. It’s cruel of you to try to poison me with his favorite food when you know I’m leaving here forever.
Janet
How about a nice lamb chop, a green salad and wild rice?
Anita
Are you going deaf? Have you ever thought about how long forever is?
Janet
Don’t do this to me moms. An omelette and some stewed prunes?
Anita
Stewed prunes, my GOD! Do you all have sluggish colons here in Connecticut? I wasn’t speaking of a last meal dear. If that was the case, I’d go to Lutece in New York.
Janet
Wonderful. I’ll call for a reservation.
Anita
Don’t be stupid. What I want is a….Bridge party.
Janet
A BRIDGE party???
Anita
(Exasperated)A Bridge party. Eulalie Evans is at the Maxwell’s this very moment playing bridge.
Janet
Eulalie called you? How nice.
Anita
Eulalie did NOT call me. I know she’s there playing bridge because we’d always played bridge with them on the second Sunday of every month for years. I’ve been doing it every second Sunday except this one.
Janet
But, they’re all in New York City and you can’t….I can’t what? In my rush to catapult you into the world, I may have forgotten to make you aware of the invention of the wheel.
Janet
You’re right. I AM stupid. Of course I’ll drive you there.
Anita
I would never consider it.
Janet
Didn’t you just say….
Anita
Never mind what I said. Have you ever known me to crash a party? Whenever I’ve attended any social function it’s always been at the insistence of the host or hostess. I know why I’ve not been invited today. I’ve suspected for some time and now I’m sure of it. There’s a pogrom against me, a movement, well organized to keep me out of society.
Janet
Why should anyone want to do that? Sit down moms, I want to…
Anita
Don’t change the subject. I’ll do the talking.